No let up

Sunny Glasgow town

I swear you would think I make up half the stuff on this blog as it just seems to be doom followed by gloom followed by doom. I'll get the bad stuff out the way first so we can end this post on a good note...

My beautiful grandmother aged 88 died last Monday evening due to heart failure. It was completely unexpected as despite her ailments she was really mobile and had a more active social life than myself. We have been blessed in our family that we have never lost a close member which has made this bereavement even harder to deal with.

I felt in shock about the death and proceeded to continue as normally as one could but I felt really unwell. I put it down to the fact I've never lost a loved one and that I would feel okay again by the weekend. Well that didn't happen! I got progressively worse when my temperature sky rocketed, I felt completely disorientated and was unable to keep anything including water in my system. On Friday I woke up with tracking up my leg and an incredible painful foot so an emergency appointment and half an hour later I was diagnosed with celluitus and sent packing with 12 antibiotics per day. I was told it could of turned into blood poisoning and if I had left it any longer I would of been hooked up to an IV for antibiotics. However this still remains a possibility because I am not healing as fast as I should be so keep everything crossed my body bounces back within the next 48 hours.

Brighter things! The girl well or I should say lady with the red hair is my younger sister Chloe! Graduating in Film & Media studies with a huge 2:1 :) Our proud parents and I went to her graduation last week which was lovely and the sun was shining all day for her ♥

Why what on earth is in here you ask?

 One ball of amazingness

Oatmeal cookie

Chocolate nana muffin

All made lovingly by my wonderful gym buddy bestie Sarah ♥

I'll be swimming in the pool and will catch her sneaking a cutesy tuppaware box under my soap bag. The rest of the swim I wonder what magical creation Sarah has cooked up and look forward to having a peak before I've even hit the showers. She really is a sweetheart :)

My other goodie great news is............. drumroll

dun 

dun 

duuuuun

I passed my fitness Anatomy and Physiology level 2 theory course with 86% mark

I had kept it quiet that I had started the course and was due to sit my exam because I was feel all superstitious and was worried I was going to fail but I didn't!!!! I passed with probably my best mark for an exam (I'm more an essay girl) ever :D

So its good news bad news week and I've tried my best to steer away from being a Debbie Downer and I hope you can all hang round during this difficult time. I am still reading all your blogs and appreciate every comment and great support from you lovelies.

Home

I'm back guys! 

Had an amazing time and have multiple updates and stories to share :)

Missed you all and I have to say I had no idea how mean jet lag is! I feel yaa yaa yuck.

Love

Jumble

At the weekend I met my sister for Rumble in the Jumble ! The event was organised by Arlene, Angela and Lynn and they did a great job. It was a really lovely day and I always enjoy my time with Chloe :)

Sundays are not ussually restful for me and are jam packed full of classes, running, gym and swimming. I managed to curb it for the day! Minus the mid afternoon need for a little walk. I intended resting for the day because I had been feeling poorly and the anemia is in fully swing again D: but the drive to do something took over and I did go out running pre outing. At least I wasn't pushing to the limit the entire day! It made me realise that I can take a few hours off to do other things but also the reality that I am using exercise as a means of distraction. Distraction from life in general but also from the stack of ailments that are currently mounting. Despite the fact I was doing very little the majority of Sunday I felt sore, cold and exhausted. It was like everything I have been doing caught up and was like 'hey there'! When I'm working out I reckon I just go into a zone and block out any signals that my body is sending out. Whereas if sit down for just a moment I find out that I perhaps need to ease up a little. Its so hard though and I just feel compelled to keep going all the time! I feel pretty repetitive and I'm sure all this is rather boring to hear... 

I shall move onto brighter things :) Heres a peak at some of the goodies I took home... halloween cupcakes made by Angela, chocolate scented candles and a cute pink telephone!

I have an early appointment in the morning and I'm chilly so off to cuddle a hot water bottle like a right old lady. 

Love

Fail

If I wouldn't fail and could actually do either of these things then...

source

I would be a professional ballet dancer or...

source

become a top olympic athlete!

Yeah... a girl can dream right?

On the subject of dreams I am half way to the land of nod right now so just a breif post to keep up with the insight challenge. Hope everyone has had a good start to the week and are looking forward to Autumn as much as me! Scarfs and beautiful coloured leafs :) Eeee!

Recap

Zippity do da

Woah! Its been a while again so time for a little recap yes?

Hole 

Perhaps one of the best gigs I have been to! I have been a Hole fan Courtney Love obsessive since I was about thirteen so to finally get to see her in the flesh 10 years on was amaze! She played for over two hours and Eva and I didn't want the night to end... so we stayed & we met her kind of... (I touched her coat).

 

Blip

I mentioned a little while ago about the possibility of a short inpatient admission... which sadly happened on May 4th. Things had spiraled out of control with regard to my eating disorder and I was becoming physically very unwell. However I didn't last very long on the EDU but being in hospital again gave me the shake up that was very much needed. However this weekend has been really bad and I am struggling at the moment. I don't want to delve into too much right now partly because I think anorexia has had too much space in my life for way too long. I am trying my best to stay on track and been attending regular appointments. Its a slow process and frustrating for everyone around which I feel incredibly guilty about as it seems I take two steps forward followed by four leaps back. Right now I feel at quite a loss and I am battling negative thoughts constantly.

University 

Well! I have completed my final exam which was stressful and exhausting but I went, I wrote, I tried and now... I hope! Hope for a pass mark so I can finally graduate and get my degree! I'm an impatient little madam so this waiting game is not chocolate biscuits.  

Finally

Check my waldorf salad I created!

In thee bowl... celery, beetroot, red onion, tomato, red grapes, green grapes, apple, dried pineapple, sultanas and walnuts. 

Pretty and yummy!

This was rather brief and sketchy but Darcy is looking for cuddles and is threatening to walk all over the keyboard. Now University is finished I hope to start updating on a more regular basis :)

B

Tick tock

Hey angel faces

My oh my did I forget the clocks leaped forward and only go & miss body combat this morning! I did however make up for it with an epic gym work out and swim. (note to self: weekends equal screaming children taking over the pool with frog shaped floats)


I am at my Dads for the week which has been rather good as its given me chance to get away from Glasgow which was more than necessary. After a tough few months I have had a little (big) relapse with regard to eating & I have suffered the consequences x 10. Lost weight means I am freezing and sore 99.9% of the time, my immune system is below normal and I have anemia. Sounds super great huh? Needless to say I feel less than stellar. I have however put on my smiley face self in hope that I'll wake up and smell the coffee and breakfast muffin ;)

I've been told I need to up my food intake so I'm trying to push negative thoughts aside and just get on with it. I have been picky ever since I was little so finding things I like is a task and a half! My Dad made Spinach and Tuna cannelloni which I had a little taste of but unlike Popeye I'm not a lover of the green leaf. 

Yesterday was a day out in London town! We parked at Elephant and the Castle which randomly reminded me of Babar (above) Aww! how much did you love that french elephant? ANYWAY we walked to the Tate Gallery passing an even cooler named place en route.

:O

Now maybe I am not modern, cool and artistic like everyone else these days but some of the things in the gallery how on earth can it be called 'art'? Examples; bits of carpet hanging from the ceiling, random boxes with tape round them and what could only be described as a room that looked like it hadn't been finished resembling that of a garden shed. I couldn't resist giggling like a school girl while some people stared in absolute awe. I have the mind of a 5 year old sometimes I know! I did see some lovely things that were interesting and pretty though so I would suggest a trip to the Tate if you get the opportunity. 

        

Last but not least...

This is probably the amount of clothes I go through in a week btw. Hey! I'm female! What do you expect?! On that note I am going to crash out and catch some much needed Zzzz's. 

La la Night

B

Spring has Sprung!

Firstly I am overwhelmed by all the lovely emails, comments and support I have received from my wonderful friends and readers. Thank you so much :)

Busy week as per usual y'know the usual swimming, ballet, studying, running, appointments, shopping and occasionally... sleeping! 

These are the lovely daffodils my mother bought me! They are very pretty aren't they? I am a little worried in case I jinx this but... its been dry for 4 days now! No snow, rain, sleet, general miserable weather! It is rather cold but I am enjoying this little spell of nicer weather. Is Spring now here? I hope so!

I have an early Spin class tomorrow so I am going to cut this short and fall into bed with my electric blanket. Bliss!

B

More time in a day please?!

I have no idea how you blogger people manage to update everyday! I can barely find time to update once a week!

I have been finding things really hard lately and I am struggling to keep on top of things but what is new?! WELL I'll tell you what is new... my running shoes!

Eeee! pretty in pink and super comfortable. I got fitted in store for them a few weeks back but they only had them in bloo and because I'm an OCD freak I wanted my trainers to match the rest of my running gear so I waited patiently for them to arrive. Darcy liked them too...

Sorry my mistake...

It was the box he was after! I also got a Nike running band to track my time and distance...

If you plan on getting one of these... don't bother! The dye came off on my arm after one run and the screen became slightly blotched despite it being a crisp dry day. I mean I broke a sweat but but I didn't over exert myself to the point that the band should start failing on me! In my opinion its naff (oh my I haven't used that term in a long time) anyway I returned it to the store within 24 hours of purchase. Time to start saving for a garmin or if anyone is feeling generous y'know make sure its in pink to colour co-ordinate with the above. Hehe

I'm rather sleepeh so I will leave this post here for just now. 

Night folks

B

London Times!

Well I have been in England this past week which has served me well as I got a nice change of scenery and a break from Glasgow. I visited lots of family and spent time with my adorable niece Poppy which was lovely. One afternoon we played dress up and I wore a pretty tiara followed by setting up home for the Barbies dolls. This fun was interrupted by my 4 year old Poppy 'By the way Aunty Amy its not real... its only pretend'... oh! Last time I throw myself into imaginary games! Heh. It was a delight to see everyone again and I enjoyed the time away. On my road back I stopped for an evening in London which was very eventful and exhausting! I did the entire tour on foot with help from my trusty iPhone.

First stop was Victoria followed by a blustery snowy walk toward Buckingham Palace, a trip through the park passing the Ritz on the way then getting a little lost trying to find Oxford Street. I finally made it to the shopping hub and stopped for a cup of tea in a cute waffle place. After a sweet tea I browsed through Selfridges then ventured toward Covent Gardens...

This is where I got my ballet slippers on for some dancing times at...

The Pineapple Dance Studios :D The place was full and buzzing! There are so many classes going on and I was so looking forward to doing some basic barre work. It was also a welcome warm place from the copious amounts of snow that decided to pour from the sky that evening! The class lasted over an hour and was very enjoyable. Afterwards it was time to head back toward Victoria station and journey it home to Glasgow. All in all it was a great few days and I can't wait to go back again soon!

Will post again shortly lovelies!

B

Busy Bumble Bee

I have been on the go constantly and I am actually pretty tired however I can't seem to sit still and my mind never seems to rest.

Exercise is meant to be a good thing right? It can improve your health, fitness and make you feel really good. However exercising too much?! What? There is no such thing!  Some would have you believe this but the fact is some people (myself included) suffer from over exercising.  A lot of people I've encountered seem to have a hard time forcing themself to go to the gym but for me I am the polar opposite. I struggle to leave the place and as daft as it sounds I feel exceptionally guilty and upset if I don't finish what I set out to do.

I have tried to distract myself and make other plans but I end up ditching them in favour or the gym/ classes or swimming. Its pretty ridiculous really but nothing seems to pick me up as much as exercise and the thought of sitting down for a long period of time equals low mood and feeling like a complete failure.

The good news is I am trying to get help but right now I am finding cutting back on exercise to be a huge struggle. So I am trying to make sure I fuel myself as I am doing more than ever and it would be a school girl error to not keep the engine running in order to sustain! I do enjoy cooking but my recipe head seems to lack a great deal so if anyone has any good suggestions especially in the shape of smooth nutritious soups and tasty sauces that go well with veggies and chicken?!  I would really appreciate your input!

I tried the above snack this week! Marks & Spencer Giant Couscous & Wheatberries With Roasted Butternut Squash Salad...yum right? Afraid not people!! It sounds delish but it was actually pretty poor so yeah its not just M&S food it's total misleading sad let down food.

I have opted to have a lazy Sunday (for me anyway) and slept in until half 9 so I feel more rested and ready for a new week!

Love

B

Clear Roads

Bonjour lovelies

The snow has finally melted and its not as cold! Pheweee! However this weekend we are due another cold snap... sadface.

This week I have been super busy and have barely had chance to sit down in fact I don't think I have really sat down except for sleep times. Although catching Zzz'z is a task & a half primarily because of my young child cat. Honestly Darcy has some form of ADD and likes to howl and scratch my door for a good two hours every single night. I love my cat to bits but he does love attention so its hard to ignore his sing song meow and his beautiful blue eyes... non?

\

This week it was the relaunch of dance class releases which is always good! Also enjoyed a number of Spin classes minus yesterdays one as the strap on my pedal broke and it came round at spinning speed into my  poor leg. I was at the front of the class and I am aware the mirror reflection of this painful comical moment was on show for all to see. Calf & pride in one fellow swoop. Ouchies!

I am planning to do the woman's 10k in May but its far away so I decided to sign up for the 5k fun run in March. I would like some company so if anyone is floating around on this day feel free to join me! I have had a really good running week running 6 miles on Monday & Tuesday and took it easy with a 3 mile run and stretch session today. I overtrained in November and put my ankle out so I am trying to be more careful this year.

I have found a substitute to my all time favourite cereal which I first encountered in Italy during my travels and just fell in ♥ with the stuff. Much to my disappointment we don't get it here in the UK and even kind emails to Kellogs never amounted to anything! I am getting to the point... no really I am! In our local German supermarket I found Nougat pillows & by god yes they are as good as they sound. The word pillow probably helps as it makes me feel slightly dreamy. Just me?! Thought as much! Anyway I do suggest you try a bowl of these little delights!

                                            

Well I am feeling the effects of my busy week catching up and still have some emails & study I should really set about.

Hope you all are having an enjoyable week :)

B