Overdue

So I have been meaning to update ALL week but I've been in a funny place & I'm only getting round to it now. 2 hours 9 minutes for the Swimathon... not half as bad as I was expecting! knocked a good 16 minutes off my time so I'm pretty pleased. Considering I couldn't kick off properly because of the blasted tendentious (leave my knees alone) Would of liked to have got under the 2 hours but there is always next year...

I am feeling pretty low about the lack of treatment I am going to receive and the fact that my key nurse may be taken away. The thing about my eating disorder is that its actually a symptom of my other mental health problems. You see I don't tend to talk about my other 'issues' in fear of coming across like a complete attention seeker or fear of being judged. Its something that needs addressing though as an eating disorder doesn't just appear one day y'know? I've always struggled with anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember. In fact even as a child I never felt quite 'right' and was very dependent on my parents. Its a shocker I actually moved out on my own because I was always so close to my family. I have become a complete pro at faking it and acting completely 'fine' sometimes I'm almost elated. My mood is like a pendulum as I can feel very productive, happy, excitable and have lots of plans. As quickly as this burst of joy came it can rapidly disappear and result in tears, low motivation and very much a can't be bothered approach. Sometimes this can last a few weeks other times it goes on for prolonged periods. Many labels have been thrown about from aspergers, bi polar to borderline which leaves me feeling even more screwed up. The borderline one gets me especially because I know people with this and I don't feel I fit the criteria at all. Labels shmabels I guess! Anyway whatever the underlying issue is I need the support to deal with it and through all the changes I have always had this one consistent person over seeing my care. From the hospital admissions, various referrals, medical admissions, family breakdowns and a whole host of other things. Now because of my stupid eating disorder consuming me I'm going to lose that key worker that has helped hold me up when times have got really tough. I understand I can't become dependent on one person and I never would because at the end of the day I can only change and look after myself. It doesn't stop me from feeling a little at a loss though and wondering if there is a cure or better way of life with this dreadful illness.

I am feeling pretty run down and hate to be miss negative so lets take a look at the brighter things in life. The weather! Its been a glorious week with sunshine and we have had some almost t shirt weather. Has spring sprung? Is Summer approaching? I certainly hope so.

I ran a half marathon on Tom my favourite treadmill in the gym

Met my wonderful friend for diet cokes & coffee in a russian cafe

The bathroom has lovely decor walls and I couldn't resist taking a snapshot

Shopping trips with mother managed to score 3 nike tops for £10 

I have also been studying a lot and looking after my poorly cat as he was a bit unwell this week. He is on the mend though so worry not! My wallet however has taken a beaten but its for Darcy kitty and he is much more settled than he was last weekend :)

This weeks plans

Study 

Seeing my Dad! He is coming to Glasgow!

Charity shopping with my favourite bargain hunter

Decorating my bedroom (yes its going to be PINK)

Usual appointments

Running if my legs allow it

Try to BLOG a little more

Late

This post is a little late but its been a busy old time as usual! I won't go into the why's and wherefores right now so I'll jump in and tell you about our trip to London town....

After a really quick ahem 10 hour over night journey on the mega blue bus which didn't have a bog, toilet, bathroom, whatever you call it our bus didn't have one. We got a grand total of ONE stop and it was way warm. However Chloe sister and I made it safely to London where we went straight to our hotel and promptly fell asleep. I got up in the afternoon for a work out sesh in the nice empty gym and a chilled out (no really it was cold) swim. I then wandered round Kensington and visited Whole foods! The salad bar wasn't a patch on NYC but it was okay none the less. I think my appetite was out of whack from all the traveling or something because nothing appealed. I managed to bag some goodies for my dear friend Sarah which she was delighted with :) Anyway back to bed and got up super early for a day in LONDON!

We walked through Hyde park and observed the runners some people where really toight shorties ;) and some have really amusing running methods. In saying that I probably run like Phoebe from friends so I ain't judging. We headed toward Oxford street and hit up the shops before stopping at my fav place for a coffeeee fix.... Starbucks! Yeah!

Caffeine high we went to...

I had only ever been to the Glasgow store and was well excitable hey! can you blame me?! I had coffee in my system and there was tons of barbies. Even Chloe was overwhelmed just check her little wee face in the panda panda photograph. 

After the Toy shop excitement we headed to Leister Square, wandered through China town, swung by Covent Gardens then headed to Victoria to get the train to go see our good old Dad. Phew! It was an exhausting but very fun day and I loved spending some quality time with my little sis. I am not long in and my kitty cat is demanding attention so I'll be back with the rest of the info on our trip very soon.

Hope you are all having a super weekend and keep your fingers and toes crossed that the weather forecast is wrong and we don't end up with a ton of snow. 

Love love love

Lush

Total lack of words in my last post so I am more than likely going to make up for it in this update ;) you have been warned!

Today the gym re opened which was a welome relief! I missed swimming a lot and the two days out of my routine made me quite the anxious mess. I realise a lot of that is eating disorder related and just tried to be strong and kept in mind that it was only 2 days and not the end of the world. Admittedly I did got out a run in treacherous conditions, slipped, fell and hit my hip off the concrete. When the City has become an ice rink it is not sensible to go running. Luckily I was the only lunatic out running about and nobody was around to witness my comical fall. I came across a new park and I noticed some swans huddled by a tree which informed me that the smooth bit of 'land' was in fact a icy pond. Don't worry I used common sense and found a relatively safe football pitch to do some laps.

Later I hit up the Christmas sales which were disappointing to say the least but I did get...

Snow fairy! It smells lush... funny that?

Every shopper looked like bambi as the ice was actually lethal! I am so over this Winter weather!

This weeks plan

Proper home clear out in time for the end of 2010
Some writing
Preparation for NYE
Stretch (seriously need to do this more often)
Wear pretty clothes as I tend to kick about in gym gear 99.9% of the time

NYC: Four

Gosh! Apologies I am just getting round to posting my fourth installment of NYC. I don't want to flood you all with photographs so I thought it be best to split up my posts. If you are a regular reader then you will know my updates tend to be a little on the erratic side so my next post will be final New York post with a full run down on how I found the trip and how things have been lately :) 

I couldn't skip going to the natural history museum so off I went on my adventure which again took a long while to find due to my poor subway navigation. Anyway! The museum was huge and I highly doubt I got to see everything but I reckon I would need a good couple of days to cover the grounds of that place. What I did see was great and I do love a good history exhibition so it was a very enjoyable day. 

Afterwards I headed towards times square...

Now... people rave on about how amazing it is and how its a must see. I agree go see it, get some snap shots and get as far away as possible. It was bedlam! The bright lights are warm on your face & got me thinking about the amount of money it would cost to light the square (cause y'know I'm odd like that). It was sheer crazy and I just didn't feel comfortable at all. 

So what's a girl gotta do?

Shop of course!

I couldn't not walk by Toys R us and ignore it...

I look way too happy in the barbie aisle of the store for a 23 year old. Haha. I did feel like a kid in candy shop though as the shop was so big and the fact there is a ferris wheel in the middle makes it even more of a fairground. I got some Christmas shopping for my little Poppy niece :)

more shopping...

and a little more...

shopping

oh! you get the picture?

Shoppy shop shopping! It really is a shopaholics delight and I really could spend many more days shopping and have minus dollas but lets face it I can't afford to skip meals ;) and would wind up homeless which btw would happen if I lived in that City! so it was probably good I had to return to the UK the following evening...  

Back shortly with the final installment of my NYC trip.

Love