Overdue

So I have been meaning to update ALL week but I've been in a funny place & I'm only getting round to it now. 2 hours 9 minutes for the Swimathon... not half as bad as I was expecting! knocked a good 16 minutes off my time so I'm pretty pleased. Considering I couldn't kick off properly because of the blasted tendentious (leave my knees alone) Would of liked to have got under the 2 hours but there is always next year...

I am feeling pretty low about the lack of treatment I am going to receive and the fact that my key nurse may be taken away. The thing about my eating disorder is that its actually a symptom of my other mental health problems. You see I don't tend to talk about my other 'issues' in fear of coming across like a complete attention seeker or fear of being judged. Its something that needs addressing though as an eating disorder doesn't just appear one day y'know? I've always struggled with anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember. In fact even as a child I never felt quite 'right' and was very dependent on my parents. Its a shocker I actually moved out on my own because I was always so close to my family. I have become a complete pro at faking it and acting completely 'fine' sometimes I'm almost elated. My mood is like a pendulum as I can feel very productive, happy, excitable and have lots of plans. As quickly as this burst of joy came it can rapidly disappear and result in tears, low motivation and very much a can't be bothered approach. Sometimes this can last a few weeks other times it goes on for prolonged periods. Many labels have been thrown about from aspergers, bi polar to borderline which leaves me feeling even more screwed up. The borderline one gets me especially because I know people with this and I don't feel I fit the criteria at all. Labels shmabels I guess! Anyway whatever the underlying issue is I need the support to deal with it and through all the changes I have always had this one consistent person over seeing my care. From the hospital admissions, various referrals, medical admissions, family breakdowns and a whole host of other things. Now because of my stupid eating disorder consuming me I'm going to lose that key worker that has helped hold me up when times have got really tough. I understand I can't become dependent on one person and I never would because at the end of the day I can only change and look after myself. It doesn't stop me from feeling a little at a loss though and wondering if there is a cure or better way of life with this dreadful illness.

I am feeling pretty run down and hate to be miss negative so lets take a look at the brighter things in life. The weather! Its been a glorious week with sunshine and we have had some almost t shirt weather. Has spring sprung? Is Summer approaching? I certainly hope so.

I ran a half marathon on Tom my favourite treadmill in the gym

Met my wonderful friend for diet cokes & coffee in a russian cafe

The bathroom has lovely decor walls and I couldn't resist taking a snapshot

Shopping trips with mother managed to score 3 nike tops for £10 

I have also been studying a lot and looking after my poorly cat as he was a bit unwell this week. He is on the mend though so worry not! My wallet however has taken a beaten but its for Darcy kitty and he is much more settled than he was last weekend :)

This weeks plans

Study 

Seeing my Dad! He is coming to Glasgow!

Charity shopping with my favourite bargain hunter

Decorating my bedroom (yes its going to be PINK)

Usual appointments

Running if my legs allow it

Try to BLOG a little more

Glasgow

Firstly thank you so much for all your wonderful comments on this post :)

I have shared photos of other cities but have failed to show you pictures of where I live so here are some for you to have a nosey over...

I like pretty lights :) can you tell?

I took these while coming back from a nice long walk the other evening. I needed to clear my head because its been a pretty overwhelming week. Intensive therapy sessions, family stuff, study, exercise regime and feeling even more tired than last week. Things just keep going round in circles and I don't make any progress in fact things just get worse or at least they get better then a remark or small event tips me back over the edge. I have been trying to focus on my studies more and have met some wonderful friends lately which has helped a lot. 

I hope you all had a fabulossy weekend :)

This weeks plans

Study

Hang out with the little sis

Appointments including blood test (hopefully anemia has gone)

Spring clean

Coffee dates

Swimathon

Rar!

Ohhh it was a toughie but I completed it! 5k in 2 hours 20 minutes... not the fastest time but I got a purty royal bloo medal.  I didn't think I would find it that hard as I swim 2k almost every day but the cold water, length of time in the pool and morning run probably didn't help. I really struggled near the end but pushed on through and made it to the finish! I had a very proud mother at the poolside waiting with hugs a big fluffy warm towel. Bless her for waiting all that time for me to complete it :) 

I received a lovely little present from my friend Sarah! After spin on Monday she brought out...

Chocolate Covered Katie's fudge babies! Such a sweetie is Sarah which reminds me I should return her tupperware box or she will be mentally kicking me in body combat... I jest! I jest!

In other news my flat is being remodeled which equal mess, stress and upheaval. What began as some innocent removal of wallpaper resulted in half the wall following suit. Cue tears and general freaking out girly moments. There are workmen coming in and out the place, my hall resembles a construction site and the dust oh the DUST! Its everywhere! E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E just... D: At the moment I am awaiting more work getting done and Darcy is staying with Alice until everything has settled down. I miss my cosy home and kitty cat cuddles!

Also I have an exam in just under 4 weeks and started out very well with a supreme study plan. I stuck to it for almost a day (no I know... rocking!)  then maybe, possibly, probably it got trapped underneath runners world magazine and erm yeah I really need to get back to the books.

Lastly this may be my last post for a short while as things are very hectic but if I manage to blog in between times then I will of course be back with ramblings and photos very soon.

Love

B