Purrr

Darcy hasn't featured on my bloggy for a while so he thought he would drop by and say 'meow' <3

This week has been mediocre in fact its been a little bit worse than that but I don't want to bring everyone down right before the weekend. I tend to hold back here because I worry about triggering others and would worry if anyone thought what I did was right. Without going into detail its fairly obvious I've been stuck for a while and have deteriorated mentally these past few months. I'm concerned about expressing where I'm really at because I don't move forward and feel like I've hit a brick wall. The upshot of this is it looks like the majority of support and guidance is going to be taken away. This terrifies, upsets and makes me question a lot. Firstly I have the whole 'I'm not bad enough to get help which is why its being taken away' but I understand thats not really the case. Its a combination of things like lack of funds, the pros haven't been able to help and I've actually got worse rather than better  and the most vital is that I have no idea what I want. I would like to say I see myself doing this, that and the next thing but I genuinely have lost hope, drive and motivation. Fuck... reading a book and updating the blog seems taxing at times which is hilarious considering the amount of miles I'm reaching each week. Joking aside I really don't know where I go from here and I feel really caught in a tight web of destruction and because my positivity dwindles I feel pretty darn hopeless. 

In other news I have the swimathon tomorrow which I'm dreading because given my injury my time is likely to be worse than last year and swimming 5k last year was hard enough. Then again its the taking part that counts and I've raised some money for marie curie!  I get to see mother which always brightens me up when we spend short periods of time together. I say short because being SO alike we start to collide and end up going in a cream puff with one another. I do love the times I get to see my mother because she is quite good at cheering me up with her kooky crazy ways. 

Uh yeah. I need to foam roll and stretch it out with some yoga so for now I'm signing off.

Love Love Love

Changes

So a while back I discovered this cereal for 88p (!!!) in Asdas... now I'm not ashamed to admit I love a bargain so got myself a little box. Cocoa crunch is delish btw :) Anyway on my grocery trip last week to my sadness I could not find this whole earth box of crunchy clusters. Four Asdas later, Tescos, Morrisons, UK supermarket you name it and they don't have it. 

I thought that my usual saviour would have some cereal goodness

Nope.

Gave up and decided to head to the gym but not before a last ditch attempt at grassroots 

Huzzah!

After all that I bet its not even as good as I remember! Also the £2.99 price tag dissuaded me somewhat :O When I do crack it open it will be rationed to a crumb a time obviously. 

On to my five things I would like to see change....

My mindset I would delve further into this but lets face it we all know I'm completely barmy in more ways than one ;) 

Poor treatment towards animals. I find it utterly heartbreaking that someone would abuse or hurt an animal and don't and never will understand why someone would inflict pain on an innocent animal. 

Something that I wholeheartedly agree with and resonated with me 'I would like to see the attitude of the general public towards mental illness change' Jessica. The stigma surrounding mental health and peoples reactions and downright ignorance irritate me no end. Its the invisible illness and misunderstood by many because you can't necessarily see the symptom(s). If people were to be a little more understanding and open in talking about mental health I reckon people suffering would be able to cope better and not feel as isolated and alone as the illness already makes them feel. Its something that can effect anyone and you wouldn't treat someone with cancer with total disrespect so why treat someone with a mental health problem like its something that they can be help. It may frustrate those that are not been affected by issues out with their control but if there was a magic cure and one was to just 'get on with things' I'm sure someone suffering would take that route in a heart beat. 

Body/ weight obsession! Particularly in the glossy magazines as its not healthy for anyone to be bombarded with unrealistic images on a daily basis. 

Finally I would like to see a cure for Eating disorders so that they could disappear all together.

Right its late and I would like to make Spin on time for once! Toodle pip (Did I honestly just type that?!)

Love

B

Eating Disorder Awareness Week

Eating disorders effect so many people and I would urge everyone to get involved in eating disorder awareness week as there is way too much stigma surrounding this illness and many people are suffering in silence.

If you or someone you know is suffering from this horrible illness please speak to someone and know that there is life after an eating disorder.

BEAT 

National Eating Disorders 

B