... or a few
This is a toughie because there has been many and I have sworn I will turn a corner and 'make changes' and all intentions are there but I never follow through.
Recently a scary a moment shook me up and made me realise I need to make changes. The bug incident a few weeks ago followed by a funny turn in the gym on Tuesday. I felt a little funny I say a little but I had really bad chest pain and thought its just a stitch and kept running. I was finishing up with a rowing session when a good friend basically told me I had gone a chalk white and it was time I stopped working out and took an energy drink. I examined the label of the zero electrolyte drink like a crazed maniac and realised how stupid I must have looked. This little person about to drop down from sheer exhaustion worrying over a few calories!
Wednesday I went to the salad bar in Waitrose and heart-ached over what salad to get... I swayed for a while, left the store, had a think then finally asked for a party snack bowl for a miniature salad. The whole time I was thinking 'this is ridiculous' I had done an enormous amount of exercise and I was getting upset over salads! Its not like it was a chocolate fondue fountain!
Today. The clincher! I went for an ECG and it came back abnormal, doctors were called, blood tests were carried out and three people had to agree it was okay to let me go home.
This illness really does chip away at you and I do know some of the reasons I won't let go but I reckon we all have to do things we don't like but its for the best otherwise well...
I have acquired a collection of moments and I just hope these are all the warning push me in the right direction. I feel terrible for letting people down and bringing down my bloggy but hey! life isn't always smelling of roses.