I was out running and something nipped my arm... a midgie! (aka punkies, irratating, annoying, other undesirable words). Now! Any normal person would be okay that nothing a little after bite won't solve. Unless you are me! Oh yes I'm allergic to bites and take quite the cracking reaction combined with my none existent immune system equate to quite a fair degree of pain. It started as a little itch but became sore and swollen on the soft side of my arm. I'm a fighter so plowed on with the following days activities but as the day went on it got worse. It looked like someone had gotten a bit peckish and nibbled my arm (it wasn't me... honest!). Anyway the red started to spread and I felt quite out of sorts and was advised by the pharmacist to pop into a&e.
Accident & Emergency was jam packed which is to be expected on a Friday night but for some reason they took me in immediately. I felt really overwhelmed and started to cry... I was crying because a midge had bitten me! Seriously?! Yeah... seriously. The doctors started trying to push me to drink lucozade that rotten fizzy funny coloured drink. I was kinda of unaware at the time but I was there about one thing and they were looking at another. My eating disorder. After a protest that I do not want or need to be put on a feeding drip nor do I want to go into a unit again so I was relived when they finally looked at my arm. I was given antibiotics and after a long discussion was allowed to go home with my mother.
On reflection and after a lot of talking round in circles (as per usual) I have realised that I can't live like this anymore. A miniscule thing happened and it almost tipped my body over the edge. I am constantly on this knife edge between recovery and debilitating relapse. This was made perfectly clear by all the fuss I caused on Friday night. I don't like drama and prefer to hide away from people so I need this shake up. I may not want to gain weight, I'm scared what people will say, the anorexia wants to hold on to me but it scared me to even write this but I need to take the steps to rearrange my life. I'm miserable, sore and exhausted and the least of my worries which triggered all this I have a unsightly huge red dot on my arm. As much as we curse these little creatures I should probably say thanks... thank you, cheers mr midge for reminding me what I need to do.