Tuesday, 20 July 2010

Photographs & Bubbles

I attended my graduation and in true B style I was late and of course went to the wrong place to collect my gown. Oops a daisy. The ceremony was lovely but lets face it a bit of a bore for anyone else that has to go... all that clapping you have to do for people you don't even know! My hands were stinging by the end! Ouchies.

Last week I went home with cupcakes in hand for my Mothers Birthday! We spent a nice evening together and she loved her gifts (cake, bracelet, dvd and miniature compact). I enjoy spending time at home (Lanark) its like a little holiday and has excellent running routes.

The following day I ventured out in the stormy weather which by the way persisted all week! I got utterly drenched and my hair did that frizzy fizzy curly thing which is never a good look. 

On Sunday evening I went to visit my sister Chloe in Stirling. We watched Ps. I love you and chatted till 1 a.m we get on really well and it was good to rest up and spend time together. The next day we ventured out to the sold out screening of Toy Story 3!!!! I am such a child at heart as I was super excited about seeing this movie :) The cinema was jam packed and people nibble really loudly (is it just me that bothers?!). The film itself was fantastic and I shed one, two... okay lots of tears! I'm such a bubble baba. 

In other news well I haven't really got much to say except I am still struggling. My weight went down a little but enough to make swimming painful again. I love swimming but when I'm going a little bloo its not cool. I feel guilty for worrying people, scared for my health and in general just a worry head. I am fully aware about the steps I need to take but taking them seems like the impossible. I can wake up really motivated but once I've eaten guilt, anxiety and upset seeps in and my thoughts are consumed again. I make constant excuses and the idea of gaining the weight back I've lost terrifies me. I have let this illness define me which is not good nor clever and I'm having trouble just letting go. My mood is consistently on the decline and I feel terribly lost. However I have a busy day ahead tomorrow and will just continue trying to push myself and hope things improve.

Oh gosh I don''t want to leave my post all Miss neg so I would like to say Congratulations to Mr & Mrs Button. Judy one of my ballet girls got married & the lucky lady is going to Japan for their honey moon! Jealous much? also a big thank you to Judy for naming one of her adorable plushies after me. If you would like to see more of her crafty handy work be sure to visit her blog.



1 comment:

  1. i found your blog from the ED website medusa something or other..

    dont give up lovely! You can definitely kick that demon in the butt and gain those few pounds back again.

    everyone out there suffering an ed can heal. we just have to keep believing in each other :)